Sustainable Mommy

Awake at 5:12 today. Been scanning Amazon looking at shoes and protein shakes. 

We met some old friend at Wild Eggs yesterday morning. We talked and laughed and had a lovely time. Afterward, we did the same at my house for almost three hours. Then I went to lunch with them (without the family) and there was more of the same. These women are amazing. Smart, beautiful, hilarious, and just fun to be around. I have to be sure they are both in our lives until we are old and wrinkly. 

I thought a lot about eating yesterday. About how we eat as a society. When you really think about it, it's truly gross. I used to think vegans were extreme - that I could and would never be one. It seemed crazy to me. Then I watched Cowspiracy (http://www.cowspiracy.com/). It got me half way there. The next night I watched Vegucated (http://www.getvegucated.com/). The next day I decided to try it for one day. That was October 7. After one day, I felt amazing - not just physically. I felt amazing mentally and emotionally, too, because I'd eaten well for myself, the animals, and the environment. I'd never experienced food in that way. Eating not *just* for health and because it's good for my body was a completely new concept for me. 

One downfall of having 5:30am classes is that my body now thinks I should wake up that early every day. I could get up and do yoga or make breakfast (or write, which I've done now for the second time), but most mornings I would like my body to let me go back to sleep. 

I've been going to the gym regularly every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for about a month - the class I attend is at 5:30am. My phone alarm is set for 5am on those days. Last night I decided to work out today, too, and neglected to set my alarm, so I woke up at 5:49. Shit. This is a problem because you have to sign up for classes - only 20 people can attend each class. So I likely took someone else's spot and I feel super guilty this morning. It was an honest mistake, though. Now I am awake at 6:15. Sigh. I am going to try to attend the 12:15 class if I can get Eric to pick Violet up at noon. 

We had a pretty good Sunday. After Eric and Duncan went Lowe's, we went to lunch at Moe's (ha) and then dropped the kids off with my mom. Eric and I went to Homearama, which is always fun. The houses are way over the top when it comes to decorations, but some of them were really nice, and we had a good time. On the way back home we had a mint chocolate chip milkshake from Graeter's. Delicious. After we picked up the kids, we had breakfast for dinner back at home.

Bedtimes have been fairly tough the past few weeks. Violet is a mess if one thing goes wrong (e.g. if she doesn't get the wipes herself), and Duncan is normally fine, but this particular night he wanted to play ball, which is not a good bedtime activity. Normally we just read, talk, or sing songs. So he threw a fit for a good 30 minutes and told us he was never going to sleep. Of course he did, but he didn't like it!

After the kids were in bed, Eric and I worked outside - he on the french drain he's creating in the front garden bed, and I worked on cutting down the giant bushes in front of the porch. They are huge bushes and probably original to the house, but they are overgrown and couldn't be salvaged. The front of the house looks so much better with the bushes gone! I am hoping to plant some boxwoods and hydrangeas there.

Yesterday was NOT a good day. I tried to keep a positive attitude, but the day was just awful. Neither kid would listen, and they laughed at me when I was serious. Duncan went down for a nap at 11:45, and Violet at 12:30. Duncan slept until after 3, and so did Violet. Dinner was nice - we had pork, kale, and potato soup from the crockpot, and cornbread. After dinner, I went to the grocery with Duncan, which was nice. When we got home, I walked to my mom's house, which is the first time I've done that. I want to get some exercise every day. The walk was nice.

Today ... hoping for a better day. I will be calmer. I will be more mindful. I will be more attentive to my children. Though I still have no idea what we are going to do ... supposed to be really hot and I don't have any desire to go anywhere.

What a lovely weekend so far.

Yesterday, the kids and I stayed home and our good friends came over until lunchtime. During naps, I rested, too, and when we all woke up, I started the pizza dough. My parents have been coming over on Friday nights for pizza - I've said it and thought it a hundred times at least, but I'm so thankful that we are moved. :)

I received some new running shoes in the mail yesterday - I will have to post a picture because they are the prettiest shoes I've ever had! I bet you'll never guess what color they are, haha! I also received some books in the mail that I'd ordered on Thursday. One is about meditations for women, and the other is about mindful eating. I'm looking forward to diving into them. After the kids went to bed, we watched "Crazy. Stupid. Love." I loved it! For those that like Ryan Gosling, it's definitely a good one. Emma Stone and Steve Carell are also in it.

We were blessed with an 8:30am wake up time this morning. It was fabulous. We put Violet's "big girl bed" together, dressed ourselves, and headed out the the farmer's market with our breakfast in snack bags. After the market (I bought some ears of corn, a quart of blueberries, some olive oil soap, and kettle corn) we had lunch at Mark's, then headed home to pick up Violet's sleeping gear (baby, blanket, etc.) and went to my mom's. We put the kids down and then came back home after Eric went to help out his grandma. We got all set up for our Skype call with our intended parents - in France! I was super nervous, but the call went well. I think that email may be the best way for us to communicate right now, but it was still nice to meet M and D face-to-face, ask them some questions, and learn more about them. We already exchanged an email this evening, and I sent them some updated pictures.

After our call, I picked up the kids and we had leftovers for dinner. The kids helped Eric outside after dinner while I did the dishes. Tonight we attempted the bed for Violet, but after an hour of calling for mommy or daddy every 5 or 10 minutes, we gave up and put her back in the crib (they are both in her room right now).  Eric is working hard on putting a drain in the front garden bed to keep water from leaking into the basement ... it's rough work!

Tomorrow, we are planning on heading to Homearama while the kids nap. Super excited to get ideas. :)

Life update.

We moved at the end of May and love our new home. I am enjoying creating a home for my family and making it a warm and comfortable place for us to grow old(er) together.

Since Violet is no longer nursing, we are pursuing gestational surrogacy once more. Things are moving quickly right now, but they'll slow down in the next few weeks. Eric had a phone screening on July 3, and I took the MMPI test on Tuesday. On Tuesday evening, we received a potential Intended Parent Profile. After reviewing the profile (and the couple reviewed ours), we let our coordinator know that they are amazing, and  this Saturday we are having a Skype call. The couple lives in France! Super excited. A little nervous about coming up with things to talk about, but I'm sure things will be fine.

The kids are really good ... we spend a lot of time outside, and the kids love the new backyard. Eric is helping Jason out with something at his house tonight, so the kids and I are heading to El Nopal. Hopefully it's uneventful. :)

doTERRA is slow for me right now. I'm still using it, loving it, and I share when I can, but I'm not posting daily about it on Facebook right now. It truly is one of those "you get out of it what you put in" sorts of things.  I've been super frustrated with how some people perceive me as either 1) lying about how good the product really is, or that it doesn't work, or 2) think I'm just trying to sell them something so I can make money. Neither of them are true, and I'm working hard on showing people that I have good intentions and that I genuinely care. I just want to help people. So many people complain or vent on Facebook about their sick kids, their headaches, their back pains, etc. (I can't deny that Facebook is a good arena to post those kinds of things - to get suggestions, empathy, etc.) I don't mention oils to everyone, but once in a while I will send a message to someone and suggest they try an oil. I offer to send them a free sample even, but the majority of the time I get no response. Sigh. I'm not even allowed to suggest oils on some forums simply because I "sell" something.

I am super excited to share about my surrogacy journey while I use doTERRA, though!

C'est la vie. There are lots of people out there who do care and that want my help, and people who need and want doTERRA will find a way to get it, whether it's from me or not.

But life is awesome and I'm loving it, despite my small, first-world frustrations. I'll just keep on keepin' on with a smile on my face. :)

Well, it's finally here. The time I've been waiting for since what seems like years ... though I think it's really only two or three years. We are MOVING! Cameron will be here at 4:00 to take pictures and officially list the house. We have been working hard to get the house ready - de-cluttering, cleaning, fixing a few things. Eric fixed some of the deck over the weekend, and right now he's out there re-staining it. We've filled in nail holes, touched-up paint in almost every room and the kitchen cabinets, and we're taking loads of stuff to my mom and dad's almost daily. Last Wednesday we had an agent caravan, and over 20 agents walked through the house.

Cameron is extremely optimistic that the house will sell very quickly. We share his enthusiasm, but it's limited because of what happened in 2009. The market was a lot different then, though. Today, inventory is low and houses are getting snatched up quickly. I look at Zillow, realtor.com, and Trulia daily to see what houses have just gone on the market. I found one this morning while I was still in bed, looking at my phone. It went on the market yesterday. Cameron called to get us a showing, and it already has an offer - after ONE day. The offer hasn't been accepted yet, and while I don't think we have much chance of getting it, I think we're still going to make an offer. It's in Brownsboro Farms here. Such an awesome house - we walked through it with Cameron, my mom, and the kids this morning. Could definitely picture ourselves living there for a long time. Still, I'm certain that other houses like it will come on the market soon, especially since it's getting warmer and this is when people want to sell.

We shall see. For now, we're concentrating on getting a contract on ours. Cross your fingers!

On an unrelated note ... six months from today I'll be at convention in Salt Lake City with Eric, celebrating my 30th birthday with 15,000 of my closest friends!

I was not looking forward to today ... Eric's first day back to work. Duncan, however, doesn't start school until tomorrow, so we were home today. I could have drug the kids out into the cold to somewhere like Joann's for the mall, where there would undoubtedly be screaming by Violet because she's unhappy to remain in the same place (stroller, Ergo, etc.) for more than 2 minutes, and then Duncan would beg to eat lunch at "Chick-a-fay." So I decided to brave the day at home, and it wasn't so bad.

We started off the morning by getting some chili going on the crockpot while the kids munched on toast and dry cereal (muy healthy!). We read books, played in the basement, slid down the curvyboard, cleaned up a lot, and finally it was lunchtime. After some more random stuff to eat for lunch, it was naptime.

I was particularly productive during naps today: updated website a little, created Facebook events for January classes, updated my income/expense file, tried to figure out my quarterly tax form (again), wrote some emails, and ... I think that's it.

I was supposed to have a class tonight, but she called to cancel because everyone who was planning on coming had something come up. So, I need to be more diligent with handing out the invites for my classes - I haven't really used them until now, but it's obvious that I need to!

Eric is back home with Graeter's, so it's time to lounge. Wahoo!

Happy New Year!

2013 is going to be an awesome year - lots of things to look forward to, some amazing and attainable goals on the horizon, and my 30th birthday bash in Salt Lake City! Haha. At the doTERRA Convention, I mean. We'll be getting the house ready to put on the market in the next few months, and hopefully list it for real in early summer.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were great, even though we didn't get to see Seth and Jeanine. :o( Violet and I both had a stomach bug over Thanksgiving, and then the same thing went through all of us during Christmas break ... we relied heavily on our oils the past few months! We've really enjoyed Eric being home for the majority of the past two weeks, though, and we're all sad that he has to go back to work tomorrow. Back to routine is good, though. We've watched entirely too much tv the past few weeks!

Business is going so well. I'm in the beginning steps of figuring out how to transition to just doing doTERRA and training other people to do encapsulation. I have 7 classes in January and I'm so pumped! I LOVE what I do! I met with a business mentor last week and he was full of good ideas.

Last night I went downstairs with the kids and played through my old choir music on the piano while they played on the floor ... a trip down memory lane. Then, when Eric came down and I finished playing the piano, we turned on the stereo and Ben Folds Live was on, so we blasted that and everyone danced. It was a perfect way to end the year as a family. After the kids went to bed, we had Chinese takeout and watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, followed by the first part of the Deathly Hallows - first time we've seen them. Trying to figure out now how to get Part 2 since it's not available on the Kindle (my awesome Christmas present!).

This morning, we did some more stuff in the basement and I condensed 4 boxes of old sentimental stuff into 1. Hooray! We also took down all the Christmas stuff - boo hoo! Leftovers for both lunch and dinner, a quick trip to the grocery with Duncan, and the entire evening spent on the couch ... a good end to a mostly awesome vacation.

I have to admit that I'm pretty excited about turning 30 - for lots of reasons. I'm not dreading getting older at all. Life is so good ... I wouldn't change a thing!

October has been so busy.

My 29th birthday came and went without much fuss. It was a good day. I got a haircut, and we had Moby Dick and cake and ice cream.

October 5th, St. James with mom and Chrissy. One of my favorite traditions. I bought 2 things and neither of them were for me. Chrissy and I spent that evening at a bar called "Tin Roof," talking with some high school classmates and listening to Bill and Aaron sing.

October 6th, family-oriented class picnic in the morning. It started out chilly, but warmed up and we had fun! I had to leave early to help decorate for the reunion. Finally left there around 3, rested for 10 minutes, showered and got ready for the reunion. HAD A BALL. We had many more people show up and pay at the door, and no one even sat down on the couches or danced - everyone talked and caught up and it was fabulous. Several people even said, "Are we doing a 15 year reunion?!" So, patting ourselves on the back for the reunion since the committee did a great job. AND we have money left for the next reunion, which is fabulous.

October 7th - celebrated birthdays with the in-laws. Good times.

October 13th - Doulapalooza 10-2 ... made a lot of good contacts, talked to people, felt confident, gave out lots of business cards. Ashley's baby shower at 2. Had a good time, but had to bite my tongue several times.    Neighborhood fall party at 4. Slow start, but had a good time.

October 15th - Started 1st placenta of the week and went to the grocery

October 16th - music class, finished 1st placenta of the week

October 17th - started 2nd placenta of the week

October 18th - finished 2nd placenta of the week, oils class at Amazing Green Planet

October 20th - encapsulation info session at a natural parenting store in Elizabethtown. Great class, even though we spent most of the time talking about oils. :o) ... also started 3rd placenta of the week

October 21st - finished 3rd placenta of the week

TODAY ... speaking to a childbirth class this evening, and will most likely hear from the 4th mama of the week, who went into the hospital to be induced last night.

Kids are doing great. Duncan was unusually pleasant this morning. Such a great helper when he's in a good mood. Violet is walking all over the place, and likes to hit things when she's mad. Always a good sign of things to come. :o)

Pretty happy these days. I have 6 oil classes scheduled between now and the end of November, along with an info session at Mama's Hip.

Tonight for dinner: chili and cornbread ... even though it's 80. Oops. It was cold yesterday!

So many memories running through my head. The first one, enjoying an NBA Spurs game with you in San Antonio on our sophomore choir trip. I was in a bad place then, hung up on an English boy, and you were the first boy who took my crazy mind off of him. We got along so well. We went to homecoming together junior year, as friends. Navy blue sparkles from my dress were all over Joel's car. The next day, I visited you at work (since it was just across the parking lot from where I worked at Baskin Robbins) and I guess that scared you off. From that point on, you knew I had a crush on you ... I longed to be your girlfriend. The sight and sound of your loud, white Acura Integra speeding by made my heart race. Senior year, we had 4 classes together - Physics, Calculus, Choir, and German. I was pretty much your assignment book the entire year. I wanted you to like me, so I helped you when you hadn't done your homework, or didn't know what we were supposed to do. You always had your chapstick with you. You liked to dress up and look nice at school. You told me that you never really sang in choir, and that you couldn't sing.

At the end of senior year, Eric came along, and our relationship improved. We became real friends for the first time. We saw each other during summers, and you came to my wedding.

The last time we saw each other was Christmas of 2011. You came over to my house, and Marianne and Chad were there, too. We had lasagna and sat around and talked. I hugged you when you left and you drove off in your truck.

You messaged me randomly on Facebook on August 17th. "hey home slice." We talked about the reunion and about you coming home soon. We said we'd get together while you were home.

I wrote on your wall last week about getting your information to me for the reunion, and you wrote back to me at 6:52 on September 2nd.

You crashed your motorcycle and died at 8:00 the same day, right at the entrance to the neighborhood where my parents live, where I lived during high school ... less than a mile from Ballard.

I'm heartbroken, and I'm trying to grasp the irony of it all. You traveled the world, and yet you died 2 miles from home ... and only one day after arriving home from serving 2 years in Saudi Arabia.

I am very much in love with Eric, and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world ... but even after he was in my life, I still got butterflies every single time I saw you. I don't know why.

You were special to me, William Davis, and I will think of you every day for the rest of my life. I will miss you. Every time I see a motorcycle, every time it rains, every time I drive to my parent's house, every time I drive by Ballard, every time I drive by your neighborhood, and every time I see an Acura, I will think of you. Even though we had our issues, you were such an awesome guy. I can't believe you're gone.

Rest in Peace, Billy D.

Not pregnant. Thankful. Relieved. Confident in our decision that this is what our family is going to look like. Slightly saddened that I'll (most likely) never be pregnant again and never give birth again, but I've been around long enough to learn that I should never say never.

Violet is starting to walk more ... slowly, and only if I stand her up. It's so dang cute.

Had an oil class on Monday night that went so well. I am getting the hang of this and looking forward to having more classes!

So I have this thing on my nose. I look like a witch. If I am ever tempted to pierce anything again, someone please slap me repeatedly. I am so self conscious and I don't really want to leave the house until I can figure out how to get this thing to go away. For now, treating with oils (and they're definitely doing something) and waiting on a call back from the doctor for advice or suggestions.

Duncan had his first dentist appointment yesterday. He did perfectly!

This morning was his first day of school at Waldorf, and he did almost perfectly there, too. I feel like he was really well prepared for me to leave him since we did Harvey Browne last year, and he knows Ms. Haeja and the environment already. He cried a little bit when I left, but I'm pretty sure that's because the little girl that arrived just before we did was having a full-blown scream fest, banging at the door, kicking, yelling for mommy. When I went back to pick Duncan up at noon, she was standing with her face against the fence, still screaming. Poor thing. Her mom is an assistant in one of the kindergartens, so I'm almost positive she could probably hear her daughter screaming from the other side of campus. I wonder if they will try again tomorrow? Regardless, Ms. Haeja said that Duncan had a good day, and when I asked him before nap if he wanted to go back, he smiled and said yes.

Last night, I mowed the grass and we worked on consignment sale stuff. Drop-off is Saturday, and I'm also working a shift that afternoon. The big day (where I get to go wait in line and feel like I kid on Christmas until they let us in and I get wardrobes for both kids for the next 6 months for practically nothing since we make as much as we buy) is on Monday. SO EXCITED!

I don't like who I am these days.

I've grown apart from some friends and I miss them terribly. Can I blame it on the kids? I shouldn't. I only blame myself for being lazy.

I enjoy spending time with the friends I do have now, but I don't feel close to them at all. Is it me? Do I subconsciously keep people "out" of my life? I miss having close friends (in town) that I can call for anything.

I am way too judgmental and I don't want to be. How do I fix this?

I know how to eat right, but I can't make myself do it. I feel like such a hypocrite.

I think I might be pregnant. Eric's vasectomy is scheduled for the 28th. Even though this baby would not be planned, I'm still going to be devastated if it turns out I'm not pregnant. As a result of all this, I'm an emotional wreck and something needs to give. Quickly.

Duncan starts school on Wednesday! He makes funny faces a lot and tells me I'm awful almost daily. Violet whines 75% of the day, and does not stop when I pick her up.

The only saving grace is that it's Friday.

The week started out rough, but is a lot better!

Eric got up early to catch his flight on Monday morning and left for the airport. Right after he left, I got up to use the bathroom and my back was not any better. It almost seemed worse, and I was terrified of being alone with the kids. I went in to try and pick up Violet, but could not lean over. I called Eric sobbing and he turned around and came home. I still feel guilty that he had to miss his trip, but I don't know what I would have done without him here.

I rested most of Monday, and felt a lot better on Tuesday. I'm almost 100% today and Eric went back to work this morning. We enjoyed a visit from Duncan's teacher this morning, just so he can get used to her and won't be distraught when he gets to school and thinks I'm leaving him with a stranger. He warmed up to her quickly, especially since we've met her at the park a few times with other kids from his class. I know he's going to love it. :o)

Violet must be going through a growth spurt or something. She's been sleeping through the night (for which I am thankful, since my back issues made middle-of-the-night feedings rough) ... yesterday morning she didn't get up until almost 9! Took a good nap, but fought going to bed last night like crazy! I don't think she really settled down until 8:30 or so. She was up this morning before 8, which is normal, but was ready for nap by noon. It's 4:00 now and she's just starting to kick in her bed. That's a 4 hour nap!!! Interested to see how bedtime goes. I have a meeting at Waldorf tonight at 6 ("new parent orientation" - though this is our 3rd year of parent-child; I guess it's really for students who are going to be there more than one day a week), so Eric will be on his own until I get back.

Spaghetti for the rest of the family tonight. I'll probably make a smoothie and take it with me. Yummy!

I've just started reading a book called Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children. I'm not necessarily looking for a spiritual awakening or anything, but the title speaks to me! We'll see. I'm only a few pages in.

Last week was fabulous. Productive around the house, the hole in the ceiling is fixed after almost 16 months, and the Olympics are on.

This week, however, may be a little rough. I always try to be optimistic, but things aren't really in my favor right now. I'll be a solo mama all week, and yesterday morning I did something to my back. Don't know what, but I feel like an old woman. I've spent most of today on the couch - I couldn't even lift Violet or change a diaper today. Hoping that tomorrow morning my back is much better! Oh, and I really am on my own for much of the week since a lot of demo is happening at my mom and dad's this week. Exciting stuff! But we'll have to nap here this week because of the noise. I'm a big girl. I'll deal with it. ;o)

Frustrated with myself about eating. I was doing so well, and then I just ... wasn't. 10 lousy pounds. That's it. Why is it so hard?

Duncan is testing us these days. I ordered a book on buddhism and motherhood. It got good reviews, and I miss reading. I want to continually try to be a better mama.

Monday: music class
Tuesday: playgroup at Hogan's Fountain
Wednesday: home visit with Duncan's teacher in the morning, and new parent orientation at Waldorf in the evening
Thursday: Graeter's factory tour with a playgroup
Friday: Chiropractor

Other plans for the week include making some more almond milk, canning some green beans, and hopefully attempting a few crafty things for around the house. I won't be painting any rooms this time, though!

Is it Friday yet? :o(

I don't know if I can call myself a "birth professional." I have a few letters after my name, but I'm only a trained teacher and doula, not a certified one. I have taken a lot of classes, attended a few births, talked with a lot of people, and I eat up birth stuff online like crazy. Even after 4 years, I can't get enough of it ... it's my passion. I want to spread the love, but figuring out how to do that without scaring off newly-pregnant mamas is hard. I guess the only thing that will help is practice.

Sigh.

We had a crazy productive Sunday. I reorganized the entire kitchen - all the cabinets and the pantry. I threw stuff out, put stuff in a box to give away, and cleaned. Eric put up new blinds and a new fan in Duncan's room, and he put the trim up around our new window and put our blinds back up. Yay! We've made a list of things we have/want to complete by next summer. We'd like to put the house on the market in July or August, and move (if we can sell!) in October. Exciting stuff!

Eric officially fixed the leak in the ceiling, so this morning, the guys came to start removing the mold, and when I got home this evening the hole in the ceiling was gone. Woohoo! Tomorrow they will sand and mud, and they will also be giving our walls in the kitchen and family room a fresh coat of paint.

I'm in Olympics heaven!

Paleo, day 8!

Last night was my "splurge night" and we treated ourselves to ice cream in celebration of Eric's raise! I also may or may not have had some kettle corn.

Monday was uneventful - music class in the morning, lunch and naps, then dinner and bedtimes. We had a yummy rump roast from the crockpot for dinner, along with some "cauli-rice" (cauliflower ground up in the processor to look like rice and then cooked in the microwave) and kale.

Today, we had our initial consultation with a chiropractor - she's a friend, too. She adjusted the kids, and then took x-rays of me. I'm meeting with her again on Thursday about oils, and our follow-up appointment is next Friday. Headed to my mom's for lunch, and once the kids were down for naps, we went to Oxmoor and I got some new shirts from Eddie Bauer. I feel like I wear the same 5 shirts over and over. Also got some wrinkle-free khakis for Eric. He needs to stay looking sharp these days! :o)

Back at home, we had a fantastic new crockpot chicken recipe for dinner! Applesauce chicken ... before I left this morning, I put 4 frozen chicken thighs in there, 1.5 cups of applesauce, onion powder, pepper, and apple cider vingear. Set the timer to 7 hours, and when I got home, the crockpot was set to "keep warm." Perfect! It was DELICIOUS! Simple! and completely Paleo! We also had sauteed zucchini, and I made some bowtie pasta for everyone else.

The Olympics start on Friday! So excited!