December 23
9:19 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
The days are long, but the years are short.
Six years ago at this very moment I was in a room with all of my family and friends, celebrating the beginning of my marriage to the most wonderful man I've ever known. One of the best nights of my life.
Looking back at who I was then, and reflecting upon who I am now ... I feel like a completely different person. My interests and hobbies are different, and of course my priorities are different. Nearly every thing that I think about and everything that I do involves my children in some way. I'm a homebirthing, breastfeeding, earth-loving, Waldorf-y, crafting, cooking and baking mama. If someone had told me that I'd be into these things I probably would have laughed in their face.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that childbirth and Waldorf have consumed my life, but they have both opened my eyes to a lot of new ideas, and our household has definitely adopted some more "natural" things. Less toys and more singing and imaginative redirection. Less talking and more listening, stronger rhythms during the day and week. More nature. Much less TV. Less "no" and more "yes." In breaths and out breaths.
In general, these changes have helped me to enjoy being with my children much more, and to enjoy their "being." Sometimes when I am hurrying through the bedtime routine, I make myself stop: "What is more important than this moment with my children?" No television show, no chore, no activity is more important than being with my children - both physically and emotionally. I want them to know that I am there for them in every capacity, which is why I choose not to ignore Duncan's tantrums. I sit quietly near him so he knows that I am there and ready for him when he is ready for a hug. As adults, we have many resources to help us through our anger and frustration; what do children have? They only have their parents. When Duncan is upset or acting crazy, I know there is a reason for it ... I am not paying enough attention to him, or I am hurrying through our afternoon instead of taking my time and including him in our activities. When he doesn't want to nap and is crying in his room, I know there is a reason, so I go up and talk to him, rock him, sing to him, read to him - whatever it takes so he is ready to go to sleep. Though toddlers test their parents' patience, I fully believe that they don't really know what they are doing at this age. They live in their bodies and not in their minds ... acting out is a reflection of something, and it is my job to recognize the cause, then figure out how to prevent it in the future. This is why rhythm has become so important in our house. Duncan knows that when I get out the flour, he's going to get to help me make muffins (or cookies or whatever), and when I open the doors to the washer and dryer that he'll get to help me do laundry. He knows that when I set out the plates and silverware for him, that he can set the table for dinner. Rhythm creates trust in his environment. He knows what's coming next, so he is not anxious about what's coming next. Yes, things happen sometimes and days don't go according to plan, but in general, rhythm helps to prevent the breakdowns. Every night after we read books, we talk about what we did that day, what we're doing now, and what we're (most likely) going to do the next day.
Our days are far from perfect, but it's all a work in progress. I feel so much more prepared for the day, and less anxious about what is to come ... I feel not only like a better parent, but like a better person in general. And what is life if not a constant striving toward a happier and more satisfied self? When I feel better, I parent better. When I parent better, I feel better (kind of like that whole "when I eat better, I feel better" cycle, too). When I am happier, those around me are happier, and it's just a more positive scenario all around.
Simplicity. Empathy. Gratitude.
Here's a link to a blog post that I love.
And here is to the next 6 years. I still love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you, and I still feel like I am The Luckiest.
Six years ago at this very moment I was in a room with all of my family and friends, celebrating the beginning of my marriage to the most wonderful man I've ever known. One of the best nights of my life.
Looking back at who I was then, and reflecting upon who I am now ... I feel like a completely different person. My interests and hobbies are different, and of course my priorities are different. Nearly every thing that I think about and everything that I do involves my children in some way. I'm a homebirthing, breastfeeding, earth-loving, Waldorf-y, crafting, cooking and baking mama. If someone had told me that I'd be into these things I probably would have laughed in their face.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that childbirth and Waldorf have consumed my life, but they have both opened my eyes to a lot of new ideas, and our household has definitely adopted some more "natural" things. Less toys and more singing and imaginative redirection. Less talking and more listening, stronger rhythms during the day and week. More nature. Much less TV. Less "no" and more "yes." In breaths and out breaths.
In general, these changes have helped me to enjoy being with my children much more, and to enjoy their "being." Sometimes when I am hurrying through the bedtime routine, I make myself stop: "What is more important than this moment with my children?" No television show, no chore, no activity is more important than being with my children - both physically and emotionally. I want them to know that I am there for them in every capacity, which is why I choose not to ignore Duncan's tantrums. I sit quietly near him so he knows that I am there and ready for him when he is ready for a hug. As adults, we have many resources to help us through our anger and frustration; what do children have? They only have their parents. When Duncan is upset or acting crazy, I know there is a reason for it ... I am not paying enough attention to him, or I am hurrying through our afternoon instead of taking my time and including him in our activities. When he doesn't want to nap and is crying in his room, I know there is a reason, so I go up and talk to him, rock him, sing to him, read to him - whatever it takes so he is ready to go to sleep. Though toddlers test their parents' patience, I fully believe that they don't really know what they are doing at this age. They live in their bodies and not in their minds ... acting out is a reflection of something, and it is my job to recognize the cause, then figure out how to prevent it in the future. This is why rhythm has become so important in our house. Duncan knows that when I get out the flour, he's going to get to help me make muffins (or cookies or whatever), and when I open the doors to the washer and dryer that he'll get to help me do laundry. He knows that when I set out the plates and silverware for him, that he can set the table for dinner. Rhythm creates trust in his environment. He knows what's coming next, so he is not anxious about what's coming next. Yes, things happen sometimes and days don't go according to plan, but in general, rhythm helps to prevent the breakdowns. Every night after we read books, we talk about what we did that day, what we're doing now, and what we're (most likely) going to do the next day.
Our days are far from perfect, but it's all a work in progress. I feel so much more prepared for the day, and less anxious about what is to come ... I feel not only like a better parent, but like a better person in general. And what is life if not a constant striving toward a happier and more satisfied self? When I feel better, I parent better. When I parent better, I feel better (kind of like that whole "when I eat better, I feel better" cycle, too). When I am happier, those around me are happier, and it's just a more positive scenario all around.
Simplicity. Empathy. Gratitude.
Here's a link to a blog post that I love.
And here is to the next 6 years. I still love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you, and I still feel like I am The Luckiest.
1 Observations or Opinions:
This was just what I needed to read tonight. Thank you! :)
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