What I'd tell the pregnant Katherine from 2008
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Dear Pregnant Katherine from 2008,
The next year will be rough for you - there will be extreme high points and extreme low points. But the good news? It is all worth it. I promise. You will cry and feel guilty for crying and feel guilty for not feeling happy ... because you should be happy, right? This is what you've always wanted - a sweet baby to spend each and every day with, along with your wonderful husband, and you get to make dinner every night and enjoy being a family. Well, it will be that way, eventually ... but until your hormones level out and you get into a routine (not a schedule - there is a huge difference), life will be emotional. The first few months of your baby's life as a first time mom will be difficult, but not unbearable. You will survive, and you will be stronger because of it, but here are a few tips to get you through it:
1. Listen to your maternal instinct. Just because every other mother you know has done something and it 'worked,' does not mean you have to do it. If your baby is crying, but everyone has told you not to always pick it up because you will 'spoil the baby,' do not listen to them. YOU are that baby's mother and you know what is best. Also, you cannot spoil a newborn baby. It's impossible. That baby needs you and only you - your skin, your milk, your touch, your breath. So hold that baby and do whatever feel right, even if it means going against the cultural norm, and don't feel like you have to defend your decisions. You are the mom, and that's the bottom line.
2. One day at a time. There will be days when you may dread the sunset and you dread the darkness of the night. You'll get through it. Just breathe and try to focus on the task at hand ... not on how many more sleepless nights you may have to endure until you can sleep 4 straight hours again.
3. (My favorite) When all else fails, boob ... though, by this point, baby may be so angry that trying to nurse may make both of you all the more frustrated. So perhaps it should be: When you don't know what's wrong, always try the boob first. If that doesn't work, check diaper, then put the baby in a carrier and dance around the room until they fall asleep. Your Moby will be your best friend.
4. 95% of Babies R Us is unnecessary. The only things are you really need are some diapers (the cloth thing will work out great, by the way) and wipes, some clothes, and your Moby. Sure, the other stuff is nice, but new mamas have survived without it for quite a long time, so don't freak out if you don't have everything from your registry. Your baby will still be born, he will still grow, and he will not know whether or not he had a pack n play or an exersaucer or a playmat, etc.
Oh, and your birth? You'll rock it, so don't even worry about it. And go you for hiring a doula. Every woman deserves one.
Love,
Pregnant Katherine from 2010
The next year will be rough for you - there will be extreme high points and extreme low points. But the good news? It is all worth it. I promise. You will cry and feel guilty for crying and feel guilty for not feeling happy ... because you should be happy, right? This is what you've always wanted - a sweet baby to spend each and every day with, along with your wonderful husband, and you get to make dinner every night and enjoy being a family. Well, it will be that way, eventually ... but until your hormones level out and you get into a routine (not a schedule - there is a huge difference), life will be emotional. The first few months of your baby's life as a first time mom will be difficult, but not unbearable. You will survive, and you will be stronger because of it, but here are a few tips to get you through it:
1. Listen to your maternal instinct. Just because every other mother you know has done something and it 'worked,' does not mean you have to do it. If your baby is crying, but everyone has told you not to always pick it up because you will 'spoil the baby,' do not listen to them. YOU are that baby's mother and you know what is best. Also, you cannot spoil a newborn baby. It's impossible. That baby needs you and only you - your skin, your milk, your touch, your breath. So hold that baby and do whatever feel right, even if it means going against the cultural norm, and don't feel like you have to defend your decisions. You are the mom, and that's the bottom line.
2. One day at a time. There will be days when you may dread the sunset and you dread the darkness of the night. You'll get through it. Just breathe and try to focus on the task at hand ... not on how many more sleepless nights you may have to endure until you can sleep 4 straight hours again.
3. (My favorite) When all else fails, boob ... though, by this point, baby may be so angry that trying to nurse may make both of you all the more frustrated. So perhaps it should be: When you don't know what's wrong, always try the boob first. If that doesn't work, check diaper, then put the baby in a carrier and dance around the room until they fall asleep. Your Moby will be your best friend.
4. 95% of Babies R Us is unnecessary. The only things are you really need are some diapers (the cloth thing will work out great, by the way) and wipes, some clothes, and your Moby. Sure, the other stuff is nice, but new mamas have survived without it for quite a long time, so don't freak out if you don't have everything from your registry. Your baby will still be born, he will still grow, and he will not know whether or not he had a pack n play or an exersaucer or a playmat, etc.
Oh, and your birth? You'll rock it, so don't even worry about it. And go you for hiring a doula. Every woman deserves one.
Love,
Pregnant Katherine from 2010
2 Observations or Opinions:
I love this post. I never thought what I would say to me a few years ago!
Thank you for a beautiful post. I will be passing this along to friends. :)
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