September 20
10:59 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Tomorrow is the first day of autumn. How lovely!
Feeling lonely and stressed tonight. Trying to listen to uplifting music. Enya often does the trick.
Lately, I feel myself searching ... for what, I'm not entirely sure, but I'll know it when I find it. A better daily rhythm, maybe, or just a new hobby? I don't know, but I feel slightly lost right now. Not that I don't love my life and my family, but right now I feel like something is missing. I'm trying to be content and I'm not having much success. Maybe the 'lonely' factors in here somewhere, too, because at this point in my life I don't have any really close friends here in Louisville. I have lots of mommy-friends, but no one I would consider a close friend, and that makes me sad. Am I not trying hard enough? Am I trying too hard? I go to play groups and outings and girl's nights out. Maybe I am trying too hard ... but then I feel like if I didn't go to any of those things, then I really would have no friends. Hm. But anyway, I feel like this whole 'area' of my life is playing a part in my current state of mind.
Parent-child at Waldorf started up again last Monday. I wish I could put into words the peace that comes over me when I'm there ... I cannot describe it. Call me a sap if you want, or a weirdo, but I absolutely love it. We all attended an early childhood parent education morning this past Saturday morning. It was the most beautiful day. While Eric and I (and Violet) learned how to bring the autumn and winter festivals into our home (Michaelmas, Martinmas, and Winter Spiral), Duncan played outside for about an hour and a half in a shaded and mulched play yard - no slides and not much "playground equipment" - just trees and a few swings and some sandboxes. Afterward, we all had a potluck outside - fresh fruit, vegetables, and bread. Simple and delicious. Next Friday, the 30th, we're planning on attending the Michaelmas celebration there, too, and tomorrow night I hope to attend the parent education evening about protecting childhood and filtering out the adult world. Let's hope the timing for Violet's bedtime works out well and I can arrive on time.
I've been reading a lot (about Waldorf, of course) ... particularly about parenting a toddler. It's rough. Not that I would change it for anything, but some days I wake up and just dread the hours ahead because I don't have anything "planned" and I don't know how to keep Duncan entertained all day (like tomorrow, for example). He does entertain himself a lot, but ideally (and hopefully not out of the question) someday we'll have a large, shaded, fenced-in backyard where Duncan can spend hours doing whatever he wants and going wherever his imagination takes him (and Violet, too!). Not that I want to get out of "having" to spend hours with him every day, but when we're at home all day, sometimes we both need space to do our own things ... and having that time could help me get dinner started, too. :o) But I'm learning a lot, and loving every minute of it. The more I learn, the more I love it.
Duncan is adjusting to preschool well. Just a few whimpers this morning.
Violet is a joy right now. Sleeping well, laughing and smiling a lot when she's awake. Rolling everywhere and getting up on her knees a few times a day. Grabbing for everything.
Hmmmm, what else? I'm turning 28 next week. Um, WHAT?! I was 18 just yesterday ... a freshman in college, young and crazy in love, no idea what I wanted to do with my life (still trying to figure that out) ... I have a feeling that the next 10 years will go even faster. In other news, Eric will be 30 in a few weeks, and my parents will celebrate their 40th anniversary next week!!! Wow.
Okay, bedtime. Long day tomorrow.
Feeling lonely and stressed tonight. Trying to listen to uplifting music. Enya often does the trick.
Lately, I feel myself searching ... for what, I'm not entirely sure, but I'll know it when I find it. A better daily rhythm, maybe, or just a new hobby? I don't know, but I feel slightly lost right now. Not that I don't love my life and my family, but right now I feel like something is missing. I'm trying to be content and I'm not having much success. Maybe the 'lonely' factors in here somewhere, too, because at this point in my life I don't have any really close friends here in Louisville. I have lots of mommy-friends, but no one I would consider a close friend, and that makes me sad. Am I not trying hard enough? Am I trying too hard? I go to play groups and outings and girl's nights out. Maybe I am trying too hard ... but then I feel like if I didn't go to any of those things, then I really would have no friends. Hm. But anyway, I feel like this whole 'area' of my life is playing a part in my current state of mind.
Parent-child at Waldorf started up again last Monday. I wish I could put into words the peace that comes over me when I'm there ... I cannot describe it. Call me a sap if you want, or a weirdo, but I absolutely love it. We all attended an early childhood parent education morning this past Saturday morning. It was the most beautiful day. While Eric and I (and Violet) learned how to bring the autumn and winter festivals into our home (Michaelmas, Martinmas, and Winter Spiral), Duncan played outside for about an hour and a half in a shaded and mulched play yard - no slides and not much "playground equipment" - just trees and a few swings and some sandboxes. Afterward, we all had a potluck outside - fresh fruit, vegetables, and bread. Simple and delicious. Next Friday, the 30th, we're planning on attending the Michaelmas celebration there, too, and tomorrow night I hope to attend the parent education evening about protecting childhood and filtering out the adult world. Let's hope the timing for Violet's bedtime works out well and I can arrive on time.
I've been reading a lot (about Waldorf, of course) ... particularly about parenting a toddler. It's rough. Not that I would change it for anything, but some days I wake up and just dread the hours ahead because I don't have anything "planned" and I don't know how to keep Duncan entertained all day (like tomorrow, for example). He does entertain himself a lot, but ideally (and hopefully not out of the question) someday we'll have a large, shaded, fenced-in backyard where Duncan can spend hours doing whatever he wants and going wherever his imagination takes him (and Violet, too!). Not that I want to get out of "having" to spend hours with him every day, but when we're at home all day, sometimes we both need space to do our own things ... and having that time could help me get dinner started, too. :o) But I'm learning a lot, and loving every minute of it. The more I learn, the more I love it.
Duncan is adjusting to preschool well. Just a few whimpers this morning.
Violet is a joy right now. Sleeping well, laughing and smiling a lot when she's awake. Rolling everywhere and getting up on her knees a few times a day. Grabbing for everything.
Hmmmm, what else? I'm turning 28 next week. Um, WHAT?! I was 18 just yesterday ... a freshman in college, young and crazy in love, no idea what I wanted to do with my life (still trying to figure that out) ... I have a feeling that the next 10 years will go even faster. In other news, Eric will be 30 in a few weeks, and my parents will celebrate their 40th anniversary next week!!! Wow.
Okay, bedtime. Long day tomorrow.
1 Observations or Opinions:
Hi from New Zealand , I am sure that you will find what you need in friendship, I always remember what my Father said to me, he said. Be your own best friend, and this has worked for me down through the years.
cheers Marie
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