Today
6:51 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
The storms were crazy last night. Our roof leaked ... again. Go figure.
I remember thinking right after Duncan was born that I did not want to have another child. I would look at pregnant women and even feel sorry for them because I was so stressed out all the time. I'm not feeling that way this time (and won't, hopefully!), but my point is that that feeling eventually went away and I grew to love our little family. I know that I'll feel that way again ... but the crazy in my head is hoping that it won't take a whole year for it to happen. I remember so many of the bad and stressful times from Duncan's first months and I can't remember any of the wonderful moments. I dreaded nighttime (not so much this time, though it's still the hardest part of the day for me right now) and I cried a lot.
Last Thursday, April 14th, I was sitting at the kitchen table at my parent's house with my dad and Duncan. We had Chick-fil-a for lunch after Waldorf. I told my dad that I was trying to enjoy the day as much as possible because it could possibly be my last day with just Duncan. Turns out I was right, and I've been playing parts of that day over and over. I've been looking at Duncan these past few days and feeling terribly guilty. Again, I know these feelings will subside ... and I know he will not remember these days at all ... but I still feel guilty.
We've been enjoying a rainy afternoon of cluster feeding and. Not my favorite, but I know that Violet's body is telling my body what she needs from me, and I think that's pretty darn cool. My body is responding ... again, very cool.
We had a nice visit from Diana and her mom this morning. Violet now has more clothes than me and it only took 5 days. Ha!
Can't believe tomorrow is Easter. It's going to be a hectic day, but I will try to remember the reason for the season.
Hey, look at that, it's pouring rain again. Go figure. And Violet is stirring. Also go figure. :o)
I remember thinking right after Duncan was born that I did not want to have another child. I would look at pregnant women and even feel sorry for them because I was so stressed out all the time. I'm not feeling that way this time (and won't, hopefully!), but my point is that that feeling eventually went away and I grew to love our little family. I know that I'll feel that way again ... but the crazy in my head is hoping that it won't take a whole year for it to happen. I remember so many of the bad and stressful times from Duncan's first months and I can't remember any of the wonderful moments. I dreaded nighttime (not so much this time, though it's still the hardest part of the day for me right now) and I cried a lot.
Last Thursday, April 14th, I was sitting at the kitchen table at my parent's house with my dad and Duncan. We had Chick-fil-a for lunch after Waldorf. I told my dad that I was trying to enjoy the day as much as possible because it could possibly be my last day with just Duncan. Turns out I was right, and I've been playing parts of that day over and over. I've been looking at Duncan these past few days and feeling terribly guilty. Again, I know these feelings will subside ... and I know he will not remember these days at all ... but I still feel guilty.
We've been enjoying a rainy afternoon of cluster feeding and. Not my favorite, but I know that Violet's body is telling my body what she needs from me, and I think that's pretty darn cool. My body is responding ... again, very cool.
We had a nice visit from Diana and her mom this morning. Violet now has more clothes than me and it only took 5 days. Ha!
Can't believe tomorrow is Easter. It's going to be a hectic day, but I will try to remember the reason for the season.
Hey, look at that, it's pouring rain again. Go figure. And Violet is stirring. Also go figure. :o)
1 Observations or Opinions:
I had terrible anxiety every night at bedtime for the first couple months. Chris being the calm, collected person he is just couldn't understand. It's really nice to hear someone else talk about things not being picture perfect :o) I hope you are enjoying your new life as 4. A daughter has to be such a special thing!!
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