One year Later ...
8:37 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Thought I haven't spent days thinking about the details of Duncan's birth in the past year, I do think about it often; what I liked and didn't like, and what my wishes are for our next labor and delivery. Overall, I was okay with how everything went. I wanted a natural labor and delivery, and that's what I got. My body cooperated (thankfully), and Duncan was perfectly healthy. What more could I ask for, right? Well, here are my complaints:
1. The nurses irritated the crap out of me, but I didn't have the energy to tell them to shut up. Do you think I need you to tell me what my contraction is doing? I KNOW, I CAN FEEL IT. Thanks. And please wait to adjust the blankety-blank heart monitors until my contraction is over. You're HURTING ME (she still didn't wait).
2. I wish we could have labored at home longer ... meaning, I wish our doula had been at our house while I labored so she could guide us. As you read in the birth story, though, she had another client go into labor that night. That baby was born 6 hours before Duncan at 5-something. This was not her fault, and I know everything was fine, but I could have stayed at home another 2 to 3 hours and been fine. We just needed someone to tell us this.
3. My experience in triage was AWFUL. After check-in, they sent me into this room (Eric was not allowed - WTF?) and told me to put on my gown. Um, I'm having serious contractions every 2 minutes PLUS I've got water dripping down my legs. And you want me to do what? I have no idea how I managed to do what they asked of me. Then, while they stuck my arm with an IV (which I didn't want in the first place, but was too helpless to refuse) and checked how dilated I was, they asked me a million questions. Did they wait to ask these questions between contractions? Of course not. I felt like "just another woman in labor" that these girls wanted to pass through triage so they could get back to their conversation about what they had for dinner the night before ... and yes, that's what they were talking about as they rolled me in.
4. Okay, so this part is our fault ... we left our birth plan in the car. Still, it totally sucked. I got the natural birth that we wanted, but everything having to do with Duncan after he was born - yeah, none of that happened. We didn't want the crap in his eyes; we didn't want the Vitamin K shot; we wanted to wait for the cord to stop pulsating before cutting it - didn't happen.
5. The second that Dr. Graves said, "I need a delivery team in room blah-blah-blah," I swear about 15 people showed up in the room. I have no idea who they were, and at the time I didn't care, but really? Who were all those people, and why did they need to watch me push out my baby?
I consider myself lucky, though, because I had a natural birth at a hospital where the c-section rate is 30%. 1 in 3. So, am I okay with how things went? Yes. Do I want things to go that way again? No. So, here's the wishlist ... it's pretty short:
Labor and delivery in the comfort of my own home, which completely eliminates the chances for any of the above complaints to even be possible. No irritating nurses, no triage, no "delivery team," no unwanted procedures on our baby, and no chance of having to defend the things we've chosen to do, because I guarantee (and so does she) that our midwife will respect our wishes.
On a different, yet related note, we had an amazing time celebrating Duncan's 1st birthday today. Watching him today made me even more excited (if that's possible) for our next baby. I love my life.
1. The nurses irritated the crap out of me, but I didn't have the energy to tell them to shut up. Do you think I need you to tell me what my contraction is doing? I KNOW, I CAN FEEL IT. Thanks. And please wait to adjust the blankety-blank heart monitors until my contraction is over. You're HURTING ME (she still didn't wait).
2. I wish we could have labored at home longer ... meaning, I wish our doula had been at our house while I labored so she could guide us. As you read in the birth story, though, she had another client go into labor that night. That baby was born 6 hours before Duncan at 5-something. This was not her fault, and I know everything was fine, but I could have stayed at home another 2 to 3 hours and been fine. We just needed someone to tell us this.
3. My experience in triage was AWFUL. After check-in, they sent me into this room (Eric was not allowed - WTF?) and told me to put on my gown. Um, I'm having serious contractions every 2 minutes PLUS I've got water dripping down my legs. And you want me to do what? I have no idea how I managed to do what they asked of me. Then, while they stuck my arm with an IV (which I didn't want in the first place, but was too helpless to refuse) and checked how dilated I was, they asked me a million questions. Did they wait to ask these questions between contractions? Of course not. I felt like "just another woman in labor" that these girls wanted to pass through triage so they could get back to their conversation about what they had for dinner the night before ... and yes, that's what they were talking about as they rolled me in.
4. Okay, so this part is our fault ... we left our birth plan in the car. Still, it totally sucked. I got the natural birth that we wanted, but everything having to do with Duncan after he was born - yeah, none of that happened. We didn't want the crap in his eyes; we didn't want the Vitamin K shot; we wanted to wait for the cord to stop pulsating before cutting it - didn't happen.
5. The second that Dr. Graves said, "I need a delivery team in room blah-blah-blah," I swear about 15 people showed up in the room. I have no idea who they were, and at the time I didn't care, but really? Who were all those people, and why did they need to watch me push out my baby?
I consider myself lucky, though, because I had a natural birth at a hospital where the c-section rate is 30%. 1 in 3. So, am I okay with how things went? Yes. Do I want things to go that way again? No. So, here's the wishlist ... it's pretty short:
Labor and delivery in the comfort of my own home, which completely eliminates the chances for any of the above complaints to even be possible. No irritating nurses, no triage, no "delivery team," no unwanted procedures on our baby, and no chance of having to defend the things we've chosen to do, because I guarantee (and so does she) that our midwife will respect our wishes.
On a different, yet related note, we had an amazing time celebrating Duncan's 1st birthday today. Watching him today made me even more excited (if that's possible) for our next baby. I love my life.
1 Observations or Opinions:
We had a birth plan that we brought in, and even that didn't go as planned. Having to push for three hours, using the vacuum, and realizing that the cord was around K's neck without the typical signs of distress that led us to needing his cord to be cut during delivery (before he was out). He then had to go to the NICU team because of breathing problems. I am lucky that we have a birthing center in the hospital and that my midwife can deliver there... given our experience, I wouldn't deliver at home.
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